Monday, June 10, 2013

Riding out the line

Well Hello Blogland, I haven't been around for awhile- Not even sure if I have any readers but I am feeling well and I think I am finally seeing the light at the end of a very long tunnel. I have been ill for so long I think we are still practicing DD/ttwd in our own way. There have been lots of ups and downs in our roller coaster ride of DD some good moments, some not, some the jury is still out on.

I did make an amazing discovery at some point over the last several weeks- I was laying on the couch one day and Vic came flying into the living room and was overly excited about a set of instruction he had for who knows what- He was beside him self, so happy that he finally had some "Man instructions" No words just pictures, step by step pictures of how do to do whatever he was trying to do.... (don't ask me what it was as to date I still don't know what it was just that it had pictures).
Instructions how to tie a tie — Stock Vector #3632395

Yep something like that, he was tickled to death. No words just step by step pictures. Being the awesome wife I am, stop snickering I am trying to think of ways this might help us in our Dd relationship. Of course we still struggle with our relationship. Vic says we are moving forward and there is no going back but I feel like we are not doing a bunch of anything. Well I guess he would say all is well and in some regards they are, I guess I am the one with issues- feelings of not being fulfilled, unsatisfied, longing, but hey maybe it's just the illness or????ok I am frustrated- for 2 weeks now I have "satisfied his needs no questions asked, after all isn't that part of the deal. If I thought for one moment he was doing this because of our Dd relationship I wouldn't be so whiny or at least it would be a different kind of whiny, but I just don't think that, I think he gets what he needs and during the moment he fondles me and does things that turn me on and then I just get left to nothing. It's starting to be a turn off and not a turn on, if he said something anything to make me think otherwise I would stuff a sock in it. I wonder sometimes if we both have an understanding of what it means to be a HoH, sometimes I think he thinks its all about him, and that my needs and wants are irrelevant. One day I even said being HoH doesn't give you a license to be an "ass" and maybe he should go back and read some post from other HoH and see if they are being that way. So how can I use this new information to benefit him. I am open for some thoughts and better yet maybe some pictures.
Maybe I can make him an instruction book-for example
 from my mouth

Well it would be a start.  Till later my blog friends- I should be around more often.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Sharp Right

Spring is in the air, and life is blooming once again. Not only outside my windows but inside the house too and within me. The last several weeks the Cookie house has been quietly going along with DD and TTWD but just by baby steps. I have been under the weather and not up to my usual perky self. Vic has been a loving HoH and has taken very good care of me and I think he may have chunks missing from his tongue from holding himself back and not reaching over and smacking the living daylights right out of me. See I thought I was being a perfect little patient until "The Talk" that we had just recently.                                   
                                                                  Road to "The Talk"

I am that sharp right
Where to begin well lets see, it all started when my Awesome HoH was so busy taking care of me and picking up the slack of not having a productive TiH wife, let me say here in my defense that an emotionally set up wife on pain pills doesn't mix well with a over spent HoH whose only fault was trying to do his best and got slammed by said pain pill ridden wife. I know what all of you are thinking well just stop I was not of sound mind. Looking back I am amazed that we are 1- still married 2- still doing ttwd and DD. I am so happy that my HoH had the present of mind to realize I was very out of control and needed nothing more than some good ole fashioned OTK DD of which comes much later.
For those of you who have read my other blogs you know we have our weekly Sunday Sit Down and that it is scheduled for first thing in the morning and along with that we have our no electronics rule that goes hand in hand with SSD- no toys until the SSD no email no tv no blog no nothing no no no. Saturday late evening Vic is off to do the weekly shopping and in my pain pill induced mind I say "Hey what about tomorrow does the rule still apply" see I knew I would be sound asleep by the time he returned from shopping and I have only been sleeping for such a few hours at a time and in between I was amusing myself with said Toys. Well of course I received the deer in the head light stare- you know the one where I just know he knows what I am talking about only to find myself upset because he truly has no clue (how is it that I think he knows what I referring to when his sole focus is trying to take care of me and the house).

Ricky Ricardo Shock Hands on Head I Love Lucy Ricky Ricardo Shocked LookYep that's the look "What the heck are you talking about"

He leaves after a few words of which I can't recall and I am left home with big tears falling down my face. Tears that I caused because I expect way to much. Along comes Sunday morning and fearful to do anything I just thought:

"I don't think this is working"
"I can't do this thing we do"
"He is so upset with me I will be shocked if he even speaks to me"
"Why is this so hard"
"Is it worth it"
"Maybe I should just tell him that I don't want this, that way I brought it into our relationship I can take it out and he won't have to say he doesn't want this lifestyle"
I could go on but you get the moment

Vic comes and sits next to me and he says "I think this is tearing us further apart then bringing us closer together"

Silence is a very scary place
Thinking this thing we do is over even scary
Admitting I am wrong even in a very tiny voice in broken sobbing speech brings me into his arms safely tucked in and talking it over is like a slice of warm apple pie ala mode.

Communication is key but sometimes we need to realize it is the day to day conversations that make the difference. No matter how much I wish it, Vic will never be able to read my mind and I need to be more direct in my conversations a few clearly asked questions could of avoid this whole breakdown. Now just to remember that-

Oh and that OTK DD well that will be Part 2 of the "The Road" trip.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Questions you say

I don't claim to be good at answers but ask any way
The last few days I have been reading about March being Q and A month. As you can see I don't promise to always give good answers but if you ask me one or two I will try my best to answer you. I am pretty sure at this stage I have more questions than answers but I am willing. 

My question for all of you that are brave enough to stop by my blog is:

Who do you think celebrity/royal/actor/actress etc. wise might be spanked in their life?

So many to choose from so little time

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Holding Pattern

I want my HoH to lead and I find myself often interfering with it. I tell him the punishment was to much, I don't like the implement he used, he doesn't follow up, he doesn't give me answers, and on and on I could go.

I use to think that I was a pretty patient person, I am starting to re-think that. I haven't done alot of posting lately but have done plenty of reading and am picking a few things from here and there and quietly attempting to do them.

When I am feeling out of sorts I plant thoughts in his head of what I think he should do or what he shouldn't do. Another blogger said in a post that her HoH caught onto this and quickly and smartly said ENOUGH you will not lead.

I have to let him step up and I need to stop planting the seed, he like I want this DD life to work, we like where it is leading.

Normally I send a link to Vic with my post but not this one he needs to get where he is going without me driving the car. I need to keep myself in check and not get pouty, sassy, directing, coaching, and all the things I normally do.

I am putting myself in a holding pattern and letting him lead. I hope and pray that I can find the patience to let him do what he needs to do.

I decided to put myself in a holding pattern and see what happens

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Did you know?

I am leaning the wrong way

I think this post is more for me (I need an outlet) then those reading it and maybe Vic will read it to and understand why I am on the fence post

Did you know the sound of your voice makes me feel all warm inside?

The sight of you brings a relief to my heart?

Or being enclosed in your arms tells me all is well in our world?
 What about when you hand is spread across my tush- that I feel that I am yours.

Did you know that when your hand is placed on the small of my back or wrapped around the back of my neck that desires runs through me knowing you will lead me where you want me?

When you lecture me, I know you care enough to show it?

Or when you place me over your lap or bend me over and bring redness to my tush you set off an emotional release for me and I feel loved and cherished?

That when you agreed to this my insides felt relief that I no longer had to take care of everything and worry if I was doing it all right?

Did you know I want to be your first priority, my safety, my well being, my health, and that I desperately need you to be?

Sometimes what I do and what I am suppose to do are worlds apart and that is when I need you to take over and lead me where I need to be.?

Did you know that when you don't hold me accountable for the goals we set for me, I hear that I am not important enough for you to focus on me?

Or that things that bother or annoy you are more important than my vows I made to you?

That to the outside world I am strong, determined, focused, a mother lion protecting her cubs, but inside I am insecure, scared, that I want nothing more then to be your good girl and I need you to chase away the monsters that live under the bed?

Did you know my biggest fear is losing you?

That my favorite place in eternity is safely wrapped in your loving arms?

Did you know my love for you is my driving force? That I crave your love, attention, kisses, hugs, smacks, lectures, leadership, discipline and approval like nothing else?
Did you know?

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Can I to May I

Since starting TTWD and Dd I have learned so many things, about myself, about my husband and about us. Often times we take advantage of what we have right there in front of us and forgot to be grateful for what we have. I have asked my husband to change the dynamic of our relationship, ask him to change a life time of learning- without question he has. Has it always been easy for him-NO, have I always been easy to lead-NO, have we learned and grown closer together
For days I have pondered on ways, behaviors, actions, or anything I could do to encourage our relationship, to show more respect, and although it might sound simple it is truly harder than I imagined. I plan to change
Can I
May I
I have tried it a few times over the past few days, it sounds so simple but I find myself having to stop and think before I ask. CAN I is so ingrained in my brain and when you stop and think about it so rude, I can still hear someone from my childhood saying "I don't know can you" and then after I would say May I they would then answer me accordingly so when did that stop when did can takeover for May.
I know this is a small gesture and it may or may not work. For now I will try my little submissive task and see how it works.
Thanks for stopping by.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Sleeper in the house

A few of my post had spoken about the lack of effective spankings in the Cookie household and how compared to some of you mine were (note were) rather light and nothing to boast about. They took place for one or another of my misdeeds and we went about our lives.

Add another feather to my cap and pour me a drink
Then there was my Naughty or Nice post, something about now what should I be, should I tell him or should I not referring to stepping it up a notch in the spanking category and enticing him with the view of few implements~ Now ladies why did you not stop me from myself? What part of me thought it would be ok to show him these things. Well all of this lead to some frequent smacks here and there until oh yes I went and said something I shouldn't of.
"Are you sure"
How did that come out of my mouth- who said that- oh man I am so not getting a pass on that- 3 little words that Vic hates to hear from me. He has told me a few times, even showed me a text I sent him asking him that and given me my fair share of warnings. Which brings us to would you like your punishment before or after dinner? O O O ooo and then he introduced me to his little friend
YES you are seeing correctly!!! Eeeegads has my man lost his mind, that is a metal serving spoon. Seriously who has a metal serving spoon in this day and age, well you guessed it my dumb intelligent butt does. It seems that all my other misdeeds were from goals I had set for myself, issues I had ask for his help with. When I didn't meet those goals he felt since I asked for his help he would hold me accountable to them, but went lightly. Now I had done something he has asked me repeatedly not to say, so he felt just in my spanking, how was I suppose to know I was living with a "sleeper spanko"

I truly think he was a sleeper spanko- all this time I was worried that he wasn't in to spanking me and maybe this was to weird for him Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee he was just waiting for the right moment to awake. I am thanking the heavens above, the spanking gods, and my HoH that I didn't get to many swats from his little friend, that damn evil gadget beautiful spoon hurts. Oh I will for sure remember next time to engage brain before mouth acts at least I plan to. I have been saying that for so many years it is like DNA to me and as I am being whacked and lecture for saying it he throws in and I don't want to hear "I forgot" any more from you either. Oh dear spanking gods help me lose that spoon of his, please........................................................

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Naughty or Nice

Well tomorrow is Valentines Day and it will be our first one since starting DD so it has me wondering what kind of day I would like: As we all know this is not my decision to make of which I am told reminded of often lately. I have thoughts about being a good little angel and trying to obtain a GG spanking, it just seems like I can't be that GOOD- I wear my halo so proudly is it my fault that the damn thing has a short in it? I look something like this
Ha who am I kidding

Ok so really it is malfunctioning and I look like this

Charge it, why yes please.

Vic and I seem to be in a very good place right now, are we perfect well of course not- maybe one day when and if the planets align and men come from Venus and women from Mars- I know I know I have that backwards but hey if I can be perfect than that can happen too.
Ok back to my original thought Naughty or Nice, I think my tush would like some action (not that action) this action-

Vic has been very soft on me where spanking is concerned

I know this is normal- I am not criticizing and he has stepped up it is a learning experience for both of us, I even received a "tune up" last week, he even woke me up to deliver it. I know impressive isn't he. So my naughty mind is wondering (a very scary thing) about all these implements out there that some of you have and they excite me and make me nervous. For example many of you talk about the dreaded and then there is the
and what about these thingshmmm is that like naughty or nice?

So maybe I need to show this to Vic and let him know that we may need to take it up a notch and that I am ready

If you are.


Monday, February 4, 2013

Houston we have a problem

I sometimes wish I could take a trip to outer space and see if the residents/couples of the planet I land on practice this ttwd and if the "s" on the planet has out of mind/body experience like the "s" in this house seems to have frequently.

Saturday started with me OTK as expected, do to my mid week mis-deed. I was punished and given the clean slate I expected. I have to say my punishment left me feeling unsatisfied. I must say compared to what some of you receive mine pales in comparison. Needless to say I didn't say anything to Vic about it, maybe I should of but hey is it my job to critique his skills.....I think not.

Saturday Afternoon Delight time comes and boy way I ready for some of that, remember my midweek mis deed well part of that punishment was "no relief" but lots of service and attention but no Aha moment for missy. Thinking that I was on my clean slate plate (Ha) I was going to be on the receiving end of an Aha moment- which really was an Anot moment for missy again. Feeling a tad bit slighted and thinking oh how could he do this, not a word. Nope nodda nothing... I went from slighted, weepy, crying, pouting, and then the almighty Angry. In case any of you are wondering Angry is not our friend!

I am sure I went over most of these faces.

Which lead to I am not talking to you, nope not you, I am mad. I sometimes have issues reaching my Aha moment, Vic is aware of this and I was sure he was just being "mean" "insensitive" to my needs. Well Vic wasn't home that evening and I went to bed salty to say the least and woke up that way to.  Sunday is communication day at the Cookie household, can't say I was looking forward to this one. It also means no electronics are allowed until after the communications is over. So no toys no no no- this ensures we don't get distracted and miss our talk.

I have breakfast in progress when Vic wakes up it definitely was one of the most quiet meals we have ever had. Afterwards we venture into the living room and Vic motions for me to sit between his legs resting against him, I think he does this so I am comforted by him, being snuggled in his body, but not having to face him. "Tell me what's on your mind"- Crying Cathie returns shaking her head no - when out of Vic comes---------------wait for it-------------------------are you ready for this-------------

"It is very difficult for me when you say / tell me that your body is mine to control, do as you please, and then when things don't go the way you think they should you get mad"

what did he just say
um um I am speechless
i so didn't see it from that point of view

I can't believe how wrong I have been, my thought pattern has been so un-submissive, my behavior has been wrong, my attitude wrong, my body language wrong, and now he has stepped in and called me out and I can only said OMG what an As# I have been. I could only lay there in his arms saying how sorry I am and how right he is.
I am happy to say after a very long conversation I have been put in my proper place and Vic will be stricter, sterner, firmer, and guiding me in the right direction and loving me along the way.
He will lead me there

Friday, February 1, 2013

I need a do-over, I have no good excuses for my mis-deeds and now I sit (I should be happy I can sit at the moment) and wait out my faith. I have let Vic down.

I don't know what got into me this week, I mean it was a stressful one at work, but that doesn't excuse me from making poor choices and breaking my vows. I knew it was going to be the one that pushed Vic over the edge but I did it anyway- What you asked? Yep you guessed it, I did this

And then came the guilt, but did that stop me- no just like speeding down the highway, we all know there is a speed limit and we shouldn't speed but there I was just a speeding away. Guilt Speed, More Guilt More Speeding I was like a race car driver in 10th gear (gez look at me)

As guilt never sits well with me, neither does keeping things from Vic, I can't do it. So out comes the confession and chicken that I am it was over the phone (hey these HoH need a cooling off moment) and a voice mail to boot. I blurted out all the things that went wrong with my day and then said my confession, knowing it would cause me great agony later when we discussed our week and how it went. I am ashamed of myself and feel like I let him down after all I ask him to help me quit, why can't I do it. He informed me I better of enjoyed them cause they will be my last and it will be the most costly pack I ever purchased (gulp) and I don't think he means the money aspect.
Please please can I have a do over-
Vic, I am sorry I have let you down, I need my punishment, your forgiveness so I can

Monday, January 28, 2013

The Yo-yo project- are you a member?

( I couldn't find a female yo yo freak)

So feeling like a yo-yo -
Life is kind of like this for me right now
I love our new DD relationship
     What the heck was I thinking
Ok so it isn't all bad, I think Vic likes it.
     Oh no he doesn't he is just amusing me.
I am glad he motivated me to work out
     If I gotta work out one more time and listen to how I am doing it wrong....
I am so happy to have quit smoking, I love how I feel, it is great to save the money,
     I don't care if I pay 50 bucks I want a cigarette. 
I love my diet, it is making me healthy
     I want a bucket of ice cream, whipped toppings, nuts, banana,
He is starting to discipline me, we are going to be ok
     It has minimal effect, really make me count
We are becoming so close I am opening up and starting to share my feelings
     It becomes it's my fault no really it is mine, who cares who fault it is- What are we going to do about it
I have cried a bucket of tears - I don't get it- who is this emotional woman living in my body
He is stepping up taking the lead- woohoo yippie
     Ok so not so much
What am I missing- I feel like running through the house singing
Yes, no, maybe, I don't know, can you repeat the question? You're not the boss of me now, You're not the boss of me now, You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big. You're not the boss of me now, You're not the boss of me now, You're not the boss of me now, and you're not so big. Life is unfair...

Ok maybe I need to explain to all of you what has brought this on in my humble little home:
The other day Vic said something that annoyed me, it had to do with female parts and I being me took it completely out of content. During our weekly DD conversation we discussed it. One of my vows is I am forbidden  not allowed to speak negative of myself jeez oh petes I can't believe it and it is a big one for Vic (lord why couldn't it of been swearing). So not having a very high image of myself is a given so when he said wow look at them @%&$ my mind went right to well no wonder he isn't into this he admires that and down the spiral my little brain went. I didn't even pause on landing to catch my breath

So we discussed it, can't say we solved it but it was discussed. Which brings me to today, beebooping away as I catch a glance at his screen and thought I caught a sight of some "new toys" ooohh makes my heart skip a beat, any sign that he truly is in to this makes me excited only to be accused of being- yep you guess it me of all people, I love a good story but really, I was so put off and still am I shut down, closed the door, no entry, go away, see you later. Really I was hurt and he wasn't even looking at what I thought he was- double blow to the ego. 
SO what the (fill in the blank) is wrong with me? Have I lost my mind? What is it going to take to make me realize -
He loves me more than anything!
He really is into TTWD- (this is a huge one for me, doubt doubt doubt)
He is one of the greatest guys on the planet
What does this all mean?
Am I all alone on the yo-yo project
Oh someone please pop my bubble and give me some insight.

Sunday, January 20, 2013


Things have been looking differently around the Cooky house this weekend. Seems Vic has been gaining ground on his HoH role and smiling a bit more. He is definitely more observant then he has been in the past and more in charge :)

Saturday morning found me in an unusual position, oh yeah you know the one were we all saying that silent little plea that really I am in trouble for this, really I promise I will be good it won't happen again. But no matter how much we make that plea we still find ourselves OTK and hearing those sweet words that say I love you enough to do this and as my HoH says this is going to hurt you more than it hurts me- Gulp.
Last week Vic and I sat down after my last posting and had a true heart to heart about why I wanted this, why I needed this and what I needed from him. For the first time I felt we truly made a huge step forward in this ttwd and I found myself in a very happy safe loving place and still do even today.
Part of our conversation was about rules, guidelines, and or something to this effect. We finally after reading others and discussing our home came to this. I have vows that I have made to him, I guess some would consider them rules but for me these are my vows as his submissive wife that I will uphold they will never change they are the core to our DD relationship and very important to Vic and I. In addition we will have few rules that Vic will set and are subject to change as needed.
One of my vows and something I have been trying to do for years is
I know I know please for goodness sake I know. It is my dirty little secret- well it was lol. So during our chat he gave me a daily goal for the week and said I was to be on the honor system. Each day like a good girl I wrote down how many I consumed. I should of realized there would be a day of reckoning and a body part to go with it. I am happy to report that I haven't had so much as a puff since Friday night and my tush is still in agreement that if it has anything to say about it I won't be puffing or inhaling or smelling any of those nasty things again. If I can figure out how to put a counter on my blog I will start a smoke free one- 1.5 is today's. Way to go Cathy! Woohoo- yippee...
 I know I am in a better place this past week, Vic has stepped up and has been keeping me in line alot more than ever. I am hearing more of "you are being mouthy" "knock it off" and "we will discuss that later" oh dear my CookieMonster is showing off his pecks (hehe).

Have a great week my friends.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

My crisis

   I am not even sure what to name this post, so many things running around in this little head of mine, I think I have, are you ready for this 3 problems all screaming for my attention. Let me start with the most current one and then I will work my way through the others leaving what I think is the biggest one for last. I hope by at least putting them to words I can figure what to do afterwards with them.

            IT’S SUNDAY, yep really it is, has been for hours and guess what- the “Talk” has not happen, the no turning on or starting anything didn’t happen no nope notta! Well maybe one thinks it did but I for one thinks not. Yep I am pounding away on my key board when I shouldn’t be, but hey why not I am not the one who turned on the TV. sure I watched it but I didn’t turn it on just partook. Let me say that we did speak about one thing and went to go spend discipline time together till out of mouth came “Ok but I am not sure why I being discipline” Which up come my head and body to an upright position facing him to hear well what didn’t happen on Wednesday, which I said you don’t listen to me – started a new workout it has different days and I thought I missed Wednesday but turned out I didn’t. So I got a hug and I am sorry. That was it back to watching the tube. So if that was our weekly “Talk” I am not feeling it, not even a little. Coffee time has come and gone- off on our separate ways now.

            Lately I have had some issue reaching that Aha moment in the bedroom, I don’t blame Vic I know it is not his fault and was really hoping that DD would assist in my issue, well right now I am feeling like for me it has been an epic failure. I know for Vic it has been better and I am sure my other sub friends understand that without me going into details. But when it happened yet again the other day I was so frustrated that it finally caused me to crack.  Knowing Vic had to get up soon I left the room to sob alone so it wouldn’t keep him up and worry him even more.  After a bit I pulled myself together enough to return to the warmth of our bed and Vic had to be up in like 15 minutes, good plan I thought I need his security, his warmth, his love, so I returned. You ok ` I respond with a shrug and crawled back in, his arm was up so I headed straight for my favorite place, but no embrace, no kiss on the head, nothing I suddenly felt very cold and even more alone. I finally rolled over and so did he just the other way you know the away roll. I went to the safe zone, holding on to what I had left and closing the doors. Vic did after a while roll back over and pulled me in and kiss my head before he got up. It was too late the doors were closed and still are.  I needed him to hold me, I needed him to comfort me, to tell me it would be ok, we would work it out. Which rolls me into my 3rd and most disturbing feeling.

            I want this to work, I want my husband to step up and take control I want to be submissive in our life in our marriage, in our home and our bed but I can’t do this for both of us. It’s too hard; I can barely take care of myself and find my way I definitely can’t help him find his way. I brought this to him; I asked for it, I gave him the sites, my feelings and have tried to let him grow into his role. He keeps saying he wants it but I truly believe actions speak louder than words. If you want to do something, if you are interested in it you will research, ask questions, see what others do and respond to feed back. So why do I feel like he does none of that. Like my it’s Sunday and maybe he considers that our talk, but I would think that he would of asked if I had other issues to discuss, but then that’s me, I am interested I am obsessed with learning more and finding out what appeals and what doesn’t. Another example is his “project”, he has been working on it for some time. Can I just say I HAtE HiS PRoJecT, I wish I was his “project” he has researched it, fine-tuned it, watch videos on it, worked on it, become obsessed with it, and continues to do so. Why because he is interested in it, how it works, what makes it tick, what works, what doesn’t, who has tried what and how it worked, why it didn’t or why it did. He is constantly looking at ways to improve his “project” and all I want to do is break it into a million frickin pieces and say make me your “project”. I can’t believe I am totally jealous of this, every time I see it or he talks about it I want to just scream. How childish of me, I should be happy he has something that interest him, that keeps him home and near me. SO why do I hated it so, because it receives what I want- him, for him to be obsessed with me like he is with it, what make me tick, what might work in this new relationship of ours. Maybe this isn’t for us, I keep opening myself up exposing myself more and more and it seems all I ever do now is cry and cry some more. I am not sure, I am confused, I am hurt and hurting and I feel so very alone. I can’t do this for both of us, so what do I do; I don’t know. Do I close the doors we open, do I say it’s ok, we are good with just the sex part and leave the rest alone, I wish I knew. I just know I keep falling and hitting the ground really hurts.

            I don’t know if this will even ever get posted, it is all so personal, my feelings are all so raw, I don’t know if I can put myself out there like this. I wish I had someone to go to, to let me cry and hear me out and help me find the way but for now all I have is my blogger cyber friends and I don’t know if I can even turn there. At least I have my puffs J
Vic and I did sit down and talk today about all of this and he has read it and he suggested that I go ahead and post and see what insight my blogger friends might give us.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Happy Half Hour

Happy Half Hour

I would imagine most of you are sitting there thinking oh Cathie must be enjoying a nice glass of this
and maybe I will indulge myself with that after a nice long shower. I work full time and with my drive I am away from my humble home most daytime hours. I am a tad freakish (ok extremely) about my humble home, I like (ok really love) it to be clean and organized. So my Happy Half Hour after I get home looks more like thisNow I know many of you are thinking this gal has lost her marbles but truly I get a little (alot) nutty if the house isn't set a certain way.  Often times I probably go over the deep edge to get stuff done. It isn't a rule nor an expectation from Vic frankly I think most of the time the house could be in shambles and he wouldn't mind (although over time he has become accustom to our humble home being set a certain way) nor would he say anything- I guess I should add that this was how he was before ttwd and maybe in the future he will have something to say but I truly think before he said something I would be locked up in a mental institution because I would snap if it ever got that bad. If anything I think it drives Vic mad that I am usually running around looking something like thiswhen we are finally home together. So knowing this I started my Happy Half Hour rountine since he is not home when I get home and do all the cleaning I can within a half hour so when the moments come that we are together we can spend more time with each other. I just started this week and so far so good maybe one day Vic will come home and he will see which might just lead to alot of this

 Wish me luck.