Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Can I to May I

Since starting TTWD and Dd I have learned so many things, about myself, about my husband and about us. Often times we take advantage of what we have right there in front of us and forgot to be grateful for what we have. I have asked my husband to change the dynamic of our relationship, ask him to change a life time of learning- without question he has. Has it always been easy for him-NO, have I always been easy to lead-NO, have we learned and grown closer together
YES
For days I have pondered on ways, behaviors, actions, or anything I could do to encourage our relationship, to show more respect, and although it might sound simple it is truly harder than I imagined. I plan to change
 
Can I
to
 
May I
 
I have tried it a few times over the past few days, it sounds so simple but I find myself having to stop and think before I ask. CAN I is so ingrained in my brain and when you stop and think about it so rude, I can still hear someone from my childhood saying "I don't know can you" and then after I would say May I they would then answer me accordingly so when did that stop when did can takeover for May.
 
I know this is a small gesture and it may or may not work. For now I will try my little submissive task and see how it works.
 
Thanks for stopping by.

7 comments:

  1. That's a nice idea Cathie. Good luck with it!

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    1. Thanks Tess, I hope it does. Time will tell just like all things we do.

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  2. Hi Cathie

    We started doing this a wee while back. It does help, or at least it did for us. It helps when you ask 'May I' with the whole submission thing. Such a little change from saying 'Can I' which sounds more like a demand than a request.
    Good luck
    Hugs

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    1. Hez I am happy to hear someone else is doing this and it helps. Sometimes it is the little things that add up to a wonderful relationship.

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  3. Hi Cathie, these gestures that may seem small make a huge difference to our Dom/sub mindsets. I use may rather than can and it does help. When he asks me to do something, or gives an instruction I also try to respond with yes instead of ok. Ok means I'll do it b/cos I agree whereas yes say's I'll do it b/cos you said.

    Good on you!

    Hugs
    Roz

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  4. this is a PS :) Love that photo of that statue that you have at the start of your blog. This position has only just been introduced to our house, as the ultimate surrender both in submission and for a major spanking..cause in this position it hurts like H*ll
    Hugs

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  5. Words have such power, Cathie, and convey our deference so clearly if we let them. Can I to may I, I told you to I shared with you, okay to yes, love. it communicates so much, and helps both of partners' mindsets :)

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